Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Reason #14

Halloween Costumes.

Can any other super hero make for a more awesome Halloween costume? I doubt it.

Even the crappiest Batman costume is better than the best Superman costume. For example, look at the one on the left. All he needs are some black gloves, then BAM! Instant Batman. You show up somewhere with one of these get ups, and you won't hear: "Oh, look. Steve is here." You'll hear: "Holy crap! Check out the Batman!" For anyone who has been Batman before, you probably remember it fondly as one of your best costume choices ever. If not, then you must have done it wrong.

You know it's true.

More after the jump.

Lets take a look at some other costumes that many might consider "competition" for the Batman. As if you ever wanted to be anyone else for Halloween.

Oh my god, are you kidding me?! Look at that garbage! Aside from the quality (which is obviously crap), lets talk about aesthetics. It's Halloween. It's after sundown. You're either at a party, or trick-or-treating with your kids. You see any one of those "Supermen" walking around or trying to kick back by the punch bowl, you're probably going to laugh. If you're the fool dressed like one of the "Supermen" above, then you're just going to look out of place. Bright colors. Flimsy cape. You won't even really look like Superman. You'll look like YOU in Superman's pajamas.

Now, a Spider-Man costume may appear to have similar advantages. Lets take a look.

Well, your face is covered. So no one will know that it's really just "you" under there. But unless you're gonna be posing like an acrobat all night, the illusion is kind of ruined. Most Spider-Man costumes come without gloves, boots, or the ability to shoot web. Some idiots think they can make up for this by using cans of silly string. Please. Don't be that guy. 

It does come in black, but don't be fooled. You won't look more like Batman. They'll either call you "Venom" or "Emo Spider-Man." Wrong on both counts. In truth, considering your physic doesn't match Peter Parker's, you'll look more like the gimp from Pulp Fiction.

Oh, and just for the record: If you're at a party dressed as Batman, and some idiot Spider-Man comes over to show off his silly string "web shooters" and asks: "Hey Batman! I can shot webz! Whut can u do?!" Stare at him for a moment to make him uncomfortable. Then when the time is right, punch him as hard as you can while shouting "HOW 'BOUT THIS?!"

I guarantee the party guests will remember you for years to come.

And what about Iron Man? A fellow billionaire with a tricked out suit has to have some good qualities, right? 


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